The last page of my wife`s diary..............................


I don`t know what happened to me, how long I have to live. The disease is incurable, I know. My husband is always try to unturned all the stones to see me well. I have a little kid, who is also want to see her mother happy and wants to do all possible for him. So who is more happy than me? I can`t  look at my  husband, who is always try to (pretended) be happy, he spent money like water and sacrificed his esteemed job from an unavoidable transfer order and joined a company in one third of his previous salary. I am suffering from the last three and half years by the deadly disease.
I want to live, a long life. I have to admit the truth that I am a real fortunate woman, having a husband like mine and a loving  and caring kid that God has gifted me but doubly unfortunate  that I have to leave them all. The best doctors of my metro city remains unsuccessful to recover me, is not my faults, not my husband. Perhaps man will be successful enough to conquer and explore the Mars, but eventually failed to cross the disease called cancer(ALL/3) at his threshold. I want to see  every  moments that I spent happily with my family before my ailments, I also know it is not possible. I have a terrible fear of death, how can I face him? But death is the only  indispensable proportionate for me. Sometimes I thought  that if we all the threes (my-self,my husband and my son) could die together, it could be a happy ending but it is also not possible. As a human being it will be a selfish job.
If someone is there called almighty, please give me a death in asleep, so that my knowledge could not fight against my desire and destiny. I want a decent and a graceful death from the God. I have to go also with  an insecurity feelings about my husband and my son, they truly love me……………………….. 

Comments

  1. Sekhar RoyDecember 27, 2010 at 11:17 PM

    This is called an eternal love that never ends even after death. The immortal love could be felt by a person who was able to activate his eternal eyes. In ancient Egypt, there was a belief that dead walks with its beloved all the time. They didnt believe in death as it meant the ending of life not the spirit. Living and dating with the Mummy was the way of life.

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  2. Sekhar RoyJanuary 7, 2011 at 3:15 AM

    Its now 11th day you wrote last on your better half and nothing after. Is that the winter crippled you? Or busy in biking and professional hawking for survival? Mind that you have a good number of readers waiting for your next slot. Hope, you will not frastrate them.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sekhar RoyJanuary 9, 2011 at 11:19 PM

    Once we together heard cries and laments of a widow and her mother in law at their home. They lost prematurely their dearest and nearest one Basaki, the only earning member of that family. The family has been starving for months and they were looking for a good tenant at their home to reduce their financial hardship. I failed to assist the destitute in dire need. The weeks and months passed in between, we hardly discussed those faces whenever we had met. But Partho never forgot them. Yesterday, he rang me up to reduce my agony that he was at last able to find a tenant to contribute the family a good amount per month. I am indebted to you my son. God bless you.

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